


point blank

by bipolar_chris



Category: Death Note (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Anxiety, Blood and Injury, Execution, F/M, Gen, Injury, Mock Execution, Psychological Trauma, Seizures, Trauma, Yotsuba Arc, a responsible writer?, blanks are dangerous at close range, ha, i defo didnt beta read, tonic-clonic seizure, what do you think i am
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-24
Updated: 2020-08-23
Packaged: 2021-03-03 20:15:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,793
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24891433
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bipolar_chris/pseuds/bipolar_chris
Summary: we all know that, realistically, light would have been far more traumatized from the mock execution in episode 17 so here's that fic but without the weirdly paced and dysfunctional l/light
Relationships: Amane Misa & Yagami Light, Amane Misa/Yagami Light, Yagami Light & Yagami Souichirou
Comments: 15
Kudos: 106





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> i tried to make this as realistic as possible. my mom has had seizures and i asked her to describe what they were like, including the things leading up to one. so this is a tonic-clonic seizure because those are what she has experienced. i think i might make this a series to explore the psychological impacts of such a traumatic experience, so stick around if you're interested in that.  
> also, i was kinda miffed when watching this scene because blanks fired at close range are still SUPER dangerous. blanks aren't toys, people have died from them. and i know that any trained officer should know that blanks are dangerous but shhhh let me have my angst.

“It feels good to be finally cleared.” Even as the words left his mouth, Light couldn’t shake the sense of foreboding looming over him. 

Soichiro took a long breath, one that certainly did not go unnoticed by his son. “No,” he gritted out, “I’m afraid you two are being taken to your execution.” Light felt Misa tense beside him, and he couldn’t help but feel as if he'd never seen the man driving before. He was a stranger. “I wanted to be the one to escort you to the execution site. It was secretly built in an underground facility not far from here.” A bitter and electric taste filled the boy's mouth, almost like battery acid. 

“Execution? What the hell are you talking about--”

“What? Is this a joke? You can’t just kill us--”

“Dad--”

“We didn’t do anything!” Misa’s words overlapped with his own. It was far too hot in the car, sweat collected under his arms.

“L is convinced that you are Kira, Light, and that Misa Amane is the second Kira,” Fingertips going numb, Light gripped at the hem of his shirt, scratching anxiously across the seams. “He is convinced that the only way we can prevent the murders is to execute the two of you.”

“I don’t understand. The--the killings have--they’ve already stopped.” Words seemed to stick in Light’s throat, his mind began to feel fuzzy and muddled. There were too many thoughts to keep track of-- Light’s stream of consciousness seemed less like a stream and more like the rapids, violently sloshing against his skull. 

He was innocent. 

The lights in the tunnel were flashing too much.

They couldn’t _kill_ him.

Did Soichiro notice that piece of lint on his suit?

Would his own father let him die?

 _God_ , he and Misa needed a shower.

“No, they never stopped.”

Light felt like his head was full of cotton. It didn’t make sense. “They never…that’s not what he told me. So, he was lying?” His breath hitched. If L had lied about that, then what else had they lied about? How could he know what was real and what was not?

“L was trying to get a confession out of you, Light. He would have said anything. But at this point, that’s not the problem,” The urge to protest nagged at Light, this was _so_ the problem. He stayed silent. “It’s political now. You see, L’s suggestion that the killings would stop if you two were eliminated,” Misa visibly cringed at the word, “It was unanimously accepted by top officials in the UN and the Japanese government. They want Kira to disappear. No trial, no publicity.”

“But that’s completely insane! Please, Dad. I’m not Kira!”

“He’s right, what kind of a father are you anyway?” Misa defended, “This is your own son you're talking about!”

“L made this decision, not me. And his word is absolute. Over the years, he’s tackled the most difficult cases, solving all of them. He’s never been wrong.”

Light’s fists clenched involuntarily. “You trust L? More than you trust me, your own son?” The acid taste came back stronger, singeing the boy’s tongue and jaw. 

There was no change on Soichiro’s face, not a shred of sympathy. “L went so far as to stake his life on this theory. If the killings don’t stop, then he too will be executed.”

This whole situation was absolutely crazy. This wasn’t justice, it was aimless murder. No one would win from this. Light heard himself thinking out loud, but he had no control over it. It was as if his mouth wasn’t his own.

“We’re almost there.” 

The car swerved off the road into an empty field below a bridge. 

“Where are we right now? Why did you bring us out to the middle of nowhere? What is this?” Light questioned weakly. Why was he feeling so tired? So warm? 

“Wait a sec!” Misa, ever the optimist, interrupted, “I bet he brought us out here to let us go!”

“This will do. Looks like there’s nobody around to see us out here. I decided it would be better for us if I brought you here instead of the execution site. Listen to me. I’m going to kill you here and then kill myself.” 

The warmth turned scalding and as Light’s mind became foggier, coherent thoughts became harder, all he could think was, _I don’t want to die_.

“What? What are you talking about, Dad--”

“What’s wrong with you--”

“--you can’t, that’s crazy!”

“--how can you say that? You’d kill your only son for L?” she gasped out, “If you want to die so bad, then why don’t you kill yourself! If you do this, you’re no different than Kira!”

“I am nothing like Kira. I am bound by my responsibilities as a parent and as chief of the NPA.”

“Dad, come on. She’s right! Think about it. If we die here, the truth will never be revealed!” His father reached into his coat and pulled out a gun. Only then did it sink in. He was going to die. The desperation in his voice grew. “Please, Dad. You have to let us escape!"

“Either way, you will be executed. At least with this, I’ll be the one to do it.” Light pleads and reasons, but it’s no use. He’s going to die here. His core tightens, tears gathering in his eyes. Soichiro addresses Misa but Light can’t tell what he’s saying. All he can hear is the cocking of a gun, Misa’s ragged breathing, the low hum of the engine. 

The gun is pressed between his eyes, but he can’t make his body move away. 

He’s going to die.

 _He’s going to die._

Light hears the gunshot, feels his head snapping back, pain lancing through his skull and then it’s just darkness and electricity and misty twinges. 

\---- 

The gun fired and Misa screamed, her boyfriend’s head flinging back. Try as she might, she just couldn’t bring herself to look away. She watched in horror as Light’s body began to spasm uncontrollably. He emitted a low gurgling noise, blood and foamy saliva dripping from his mouth. The strangest thing was his forehead. It was bleeding too little, swelling too much. It didn't look like a bullet wound. “How could you?” she cried, turning to the shooter, “He was innocent! He was your son!”

Soichiro stared blankly at his convulsing child. “It--It was a blank, he wasn’t supposed to get hurt. It was all a test to see if you were Kira. L said-- he said--”

“What are you doing, call for help!” Misa sobbed, speaking to the cameras that were certainly somewhere in the car, “Are you happy, L?”


	2. Chapter 2

Light came to, a searing pain behind his eyes. He barely had enough time to register the grass underneath him before bile was rising in his throat. A hand rubbed his back, it kept him on his side even as he vomited. He smacked the hand away, collapsing onto his back. What happened? Everything felt too foggy, too bright. He could hear people yelling, just sounds with no meaning and  _ why were people touching him just stop it _ . Light swatted blindly, anger building in his chest. They-- whoever ‘They’ entailed-- were treating him like a child. He wasn’t a kid, he was an adult. “Stop touching me.” It was meant to be stern, but it sounded slurred and desperate. The electricity from before came back and he faded out once more.

\--

Sachiko sat in the emergency room clutching on to her daughter. Sayu looked close to tears, and her mother shared the sentiment. No one could blame them, though--  _ a high-velocity penetrating brain injury from excessive force to the skull; intracranial hemorrhaging; a necessary craniotomy; he might not make it _ \-- that’s what the doctors had said. Her only son was in surgery and Sachiko wasn’t about to lose her other child as well. She hadn’t been told what had caused the injury, just ‘excessive force’, whatever that could mean. It wasn’t fair. Light hadn’t been home in months, not a single call or even a text. And now he might be dying in surgery for an unknown reason while Soichiro was off  _ God _ knows where. This was her family. She had worked so hard to keep them all safe, and yet here they were. She held Sayu tighter.

\---

In the coming days, Sachiko spent every minute by Light’s side. Misa and Sayu were there often, only leaving for work, school and sleep. Soichiro visited as well, but he never spoke; just stared guiltily. 

Five days after surgery, Light woke up. Sort of. At first, it was little twitches, eyes rolling back when he was spoken to. Little sounds when someone grabbed his hand. Sachiko encouraged every movement, every noise. Each was a sign that her son was alive. He was okay. It took days. When he finally gained full consciousness, she cried. He looked so scared and confused. But he was alive. He was alive and here and not in some cold morgue being pumped full of formaldehyde. 

Sayu launched herself towards her brother, wrapping him in a gentle hug. “Don’t scare me like that, dumbass.” Her voice wavered as if she was holding back tears. She shot him a watery smile. “Glad to have you back.” Light just smiled, even through the fog of fear and confusion in his mind. He tried to speak, to tell Sayu how much he loved her, to tell his mom how grateful he was that she was there when he woke, but the words caught in his throat. He glanced around the room anxiously, searching for his father or-- God forbid-- L. 

Being stuck in his own mind, unable to communicate with his family without the dark feeling of foreboding, his own screams echoing in his ears; it was strange, but the doctors said that this was normal after significant head trauma. He believed them. Why shouldn’t he? 

Even so, it got old quick. Light never had very much patience.


	3. Chapter 3

Misa hovered above her boyfriend’s bed, teary eyed. This was all L’s fault. And Mr. Yagami. How could they do something like this? Light had volunteered to be bound and detained in solitude for  _ two months _ . And after all of that, he still held his head high; he was so happy to be cleared. Was that not good enough? Was this all just a clever ruse to shatter him? To bulldoze him over and over until he was no longer recognizable? Maybe the real targets were his loved ones. It sure looked like it. Her gaze shifted over to Sachiko. The woman was destroyed, telling stories of Light when he was a child to Misa, her voice barely above a whisper. Sayu wasn’t much better. Sometimes, Sayu would take Misa to their house-- to Light’s room. There, the younger would yell and cry into her shoulder, vowing to find the monster who did this to her brother. If only she knew. 

_ “The bullets  _ were _ blanks,” L explained, not a shred of remorse evident in his tone. “I admit, it was a bit of an oversight on my part. I should have done more research on how blanks fire at close range, but needs must. It was a test to see if either of you were Kira. As such, I trust you will not inform his family about this. We wouldn’t want them compromising the investigation, now, would we? I suppose I needn’t tell you what would happen if you were to tell them.” _

Misa had never wanted to punch someone more. How could they  _ not _ have known what would happen? They’re police! They had to have learned about this in training, right? Her blood boiled. She just wanted her Light back.

Even when he woke, it wasn’t the same. There was just so much  _ fear _ and  _ betrayal _ in his eyes. Hell, he couldn’t even speak! 

Well.

Not to his family, anyway.

Misa was sitting next to Light’s bed, watching T.V. with him-- Sachiko and Sayu had gone home for the day-- when she heard it. 

“ _ Misa _ .” It was coarse and quiet, but undeniably Light. 

Light was getting really sick of this whole ‘not speaking’ thing. He didn’t realize just how much he used to  _ talk _ . But no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t get his mouth to move-- dread pooled in his gut at the thought of it. Each time, a small voice would whisper:  _ What if they helped  _ him _ plan this? You can’t trust them. You trusted your father, and look where that landed you. Don’t be an idiot. _

He knew it wasn’t logical. He knew that Sachiko would never hurt a fly, much less her own son. And Sayu was far too angry about his injuries to have known about it. That didn’t stop the tingling, electric fear lancing up his spine. It ran through his face, wired his jaw shut. It filled his mouth with sand. Turned his tongue to rubber. Some intuition told him that this wasn’t typical of a head injury. He pushed that thought away. 

It wasn’t until he was alone in his room that he finally allowed himself to reflect on what had happened on that horrible, horrible day. His dad. He was...dead. How could Light have forgotten? He tried to kill his son and then killed himself. He felt like ice had been poured down his shirt. And now, he realized, L was going to finish the job. Why hadn’t they just let him die? Were they going to let him get better only to execute him later? If so, then why was Misa still alive and free? It made no sense. He couldn’t very well ask Misa what happened, why she looked so guilty around his family. 

But then, Misa was in his hospital room, the two of them alone for the first time since he had woken up two weeks ago. The ever-present weight on his chest eased, if only a bit. His mouth opened on its own, letting out a single sound. “ _ Misa _ .” It-- it worked? He wondered why he was able to speak all of a sudden. Was he fixed? No matter. He needed to talk to her while he still could.

She shot to her feet, crowded closer. “Light! Are you okay?” 

“Misa. What happened? In the car, I mean. Is he really--” his voice cut off and his body tensed. God, he couldn’t bring himself to say it. “Did he actually…kill himself? Why am I alive? Why are  _ you _ alive? We’re going to be…executed anyway. None of this makes any sense.” 

Misa looked absolutely livid at the mention of the incident. She turned away from him, fists clenched. “Light,” she gritted out, “None of it was real. It was all a stupid test from L and your father to see if we were Kira.” 

_ No _ . It felt like the healing cracks in Light’s skull had widened, blood flowing into his eyes and staining his vision; dripping into his ears, distorting the words into something irrational and ugly. That had to be what was happening. There was no way they would go this far. He must have misheard Misa. Light wrapped his arms around himself, nails digging into the soft skin. He shook his head. “That’s-- that’s impossible. They wouldn’t. Dad  _ shot _ me. He would never endanger someone for the sake of a test.”

“The bullets were blanks. They thought you wouldn’t be harmed.”

“What?” The hurt was replaced with anger. “Bullshit they didn’t want to hurt me! Are you kidding? Blanks still fucking explode! Every officer knows that! No. That can’t be true.”

“That’s just what L told me. God, I just want to wring his neck!” 

Light’s hands shook. “Do Mom and Sayu know anything?” 

“No. I’m not allowed to tell them. Nobody’s had a chance to talk to Mr. Yagami. He didn’t say anything when he was here--”

“What?!” he scrambled further forward on the bed, “He was here?! No. No, no, no. He can’t be around them. What if he hurts Sayu? Did he do anything while--” he froze, eyes fluttering. 

“Light?” Misa asked. There was no acknowledgement that she had said anything. Just as she was about to tap him, he snapped back into action. 

“Did he do anything while he was here?”


	4. Chapter 4

“Did he do anything while he was here? Misa blinked at Light, and he replayed the question in his mind. Had he said something wrong? Or worse, maybe Soichiro did something so awful that even Misa wouldn’t talk about it. 

Before he could ask her, Misa bolted from the room, screaming for a nurse. And just like that, the new yet ever-present knot of anxiety in his chest returned even tighter than before. He was alone. L was going to come in with Soichiro any minute now to kill him. His only legacy will be a false accusation and a bullet to the skull. Sayu will have to do her math homework all by herself. He won’t see her off to college or be at her wedding. She’d be walked down the aisle by their father, the man who tried to kill him. Who was going to succeed in killing him. Sachiko will have to live in a house with one too many bedrooms, one too many chairs at the table. 

Kira will never be caught. 

Lungs heaving, Light staggered out of bed, legs still weak from lack of use. He needed to leave. If he could find Kira before they find him, if he could clear his name.

If, if, if. 

He gets as far as the door, bumping into a nurse, and he is thrown back into The Car, with his arms restrained uncomfortably behind him. Cold metal presses into his wrist, into his forehead. Everything is _I’ll see you in hell!_ and gunshots and Misa crying. Each gunshot sends blinding pain through his head but he _just won’t die already._ Images flash before his eyes-- grass outside a car window, a nurse standing over him, fluorescent lights, darkness. 

Then he was back on the floor of the hospital, nausea swirling through his gut. Nurses bustled around. One was crouched by his side shining a flashlight in his eye, and Light winced at the brightness. He was led back to his bed and asked questions— it’s not like he could answer anyway. He vaguely wondered why he was on the floor in the first place. 

“Sir,” one of the nurses asked, “Can you describe what was happening before you fell?” 

He opened his mouth, only to find that he couldn’t. It wasn’t just his inability to dictate it; he could not remember the exact events before he fell. He remembers talking to Misa, and then nothing. Just a too-warm hazy fog of worry. He shook his head.

“Alright. We are going to run another MRI to check on how your brain is healing after the injury, Okay?” The nurse put a hand on his arm and he was too exhausted to push it away. He nodded weakly. 

Sayu was pissed, to say the least. It had been two weeks and they still didn’t know who shot Light. Well, according to the doctors, there was no bullet or entry wound. They seem to think a blank was fired very close to his face, which makes this whole thing even more confusing. Why would someone use a blank, as opposed to a real bullet? 

The police weren’t helping all that much, either. They didn’t even open a case-- she checked. Daily. (Her dad’s passwords fell embarrassingly short of protection.) Why the big cover-up? It’s clear that it wasn’t attempted suicide, not at that angle. 

Sayu was actually beginning to suspect Misa for a moment, she was the only one reported to be there during the shooting. But then she saw the haunted and indignant look in Misa’s eyes and any hope of blaming her flew out the window. That was another thing. Nobody knew exactly how Light got to the emergency room. The hospital reported an ambulance bringing him in, but when she checked the bill, there was no such charge. There were just too many loose ends for this to be a cut-and-dry mugging gone wrong. 

Light sat on his bed uncomfortably, shifting his gaze from the always-running news channel back to her when he thought she wasn’t looking. She was. She looked at Light a lot, these days. Sayu had never really noticed the bright glow her brother seemed to carry with him until it was gone. He looked pale, as if he was always nauseous. When he looked down, you could see the small shaved section of his head where they cut into his skull. This wasn’t her brother, this was a frightened victim. And she was gonna find the attacker. 

So, where to start first? Sayu had done some research on how to conduct an investigation, she _did_ want to be a lawyer, after all. First step: compile all of the data that you have. Pulling a notebook and pen out of her bag, she leaned back into the stiff hospital chair. She slouched down and began her list.

_What We Know_

_1.) Light was shot on July 23rd_

_2.) Light was not shot with a real bullet, likely a blank (no entrance wound, enough force to send pieces of skull into brain)_

_3.) Misa was with Light when he was shot, but has not said anything about that day_

_4.) The police have not opened a case on this despite it’s obvious criminal involvement_

_5.) Light has not spoken since the incident, either due to brain damage or trauma_

_6.) The wound could not have been self-inflicted_

_7.) An unidentified individual brought Light to the hospital and was recorded as an ambulance_

_8.) Light went missing from To-Oh on June 1st, when he also cut off all contact with his family. Dad claims that Light had moved in with Misa, so he disowned him. This is not consistent with Dad’s character. Dad also stopped contact after June 1st._

Sayu paused at that last one. She wasn’t that close with her father, but he didn’t seem like the kind of person to disown his kid for dating someone he didn’t approve of. (At least, she hoped so, because he most certainly would not approve of her girlfriend.) Even if he did disown Light, that wouldn’t stop Light from contacting his mother and sister. 

Soichiro. The common thread amongst these inconsistencies. And as far as she knows, he’s still MIA. She prays that he didn't have anything to do with this. Her mother didn’t deserve another heartbreak like that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I’m so sorry about the wait, guys! I haven’t been feeling very inspired lately, but I’m not giving up on this story! So, I don’t know why, but I’ve always had this headcanon that Sayu wants to be a death row lawyer when she grows up. Also, she just gives huge bi vibes to me, and I couldn’t resist putting that in there.

**Author's Note:**

> if you are interested in me continuing this, let me know. i am thorsty for some validation.
> 
> sorry if i have a hard time writing caring father-figures but i have ✨daddy issues✨ and my dad is a cop so i am--as my username would suggest--hardcore projecting


End file.
